The beast can be controlled
Or so I was told.
“A lie from the old,
this story they told.”
Deep from within, this story I do begin,
Of the Beast’s want to be free,
And his shadow that I wished to flee.
My memory fails as to the beginning of this tale,
But the feeling remains in my soul all the same.
A tug and a grasp as anger and peace passed;
But my life as a babe allowed these emotions to fade.
As I grew they stayed longer, this hold to my being;
The attempt to pull away soon became fleeting.
“I try and I try, yet this room remains red!”
A new hunger did grow; the strength of my heart it fed.
It, too, was a child, at least for a time;
Birthed of my soul’s dirt, filth, and grime.
His heart beat off, syncopated with mine;
A rhythmic, creative, cadence composed of no time.
Not me, but a shadow, a want from my mind;
Honesty and caring within him I would find.
At least ‘twas the thought, for then I was naïve.
“Tis not in me to lie
or deceive.”
His words I believed, for there were no others heard,
To think such destruction could be reaped from his lying
dirge.
His hand, it had help, in my shaping and form;
Chaos and contempt, in my life were a norm.
No peace, save my own, was given at a time;
No rest or assurance, its presence was a lie.
So, upon his shoulder I'd lay my aching head;
And within my heart, his darkness found a bed.
Within the nights we would sleep, held together tight;
Entwined to one another, eyes closed to the shallow light.
Soon, as I lived, two became one;
He became I and I became his son.
As a father he spoke, and avid I would listen;
Quiet to myself wondered of my life's mission.
Feeling ever alone, yet never seeking another;
Feeling forever cold, yet tossing away all cover.
Harsh, I know it sounds, to ears not mine,
But, an understanding, a Peace, are what I came to find.
Strength! For I am strong, much stronger than ever;
Finding my weakness has become a hopeless endeavor.
Nothing! stops me, save my own hand;
Thinking other proves false, the stupidity of a damned man.
Such power! supplied limitless from within;
No horizon to be seen, for I am the wind.
Or so I thought,
For I,
Not he,
Am nothing but a soul;
And was fooled to believing that this path would lead me whole.
As I aged I understood, my gaze became clearer;
My hatred for those other, became my reflection in the mirror.
My face, distorted, but only to my eyes;
The darkness became blue, just not in my skies.
No longer in this void can I walk and not stumble;
The fire inside made me all but humble.
Fear! No control! What is this touch?
Away! Run! To the Beast I shall clutch!
Tricked.
We are the same, mostly but not complete;
I still own this essence, it's for my mind that we now compete.
Our strength is matched one to one;
But his heart now pumps, and it wants me undone.
For a time I wondered why he came;
Now I understand, he wanted my name.
He wanted a place, to live and to breath;
Now that I need help, he wants me to leave.
He wants this place, that my whole calls home;
He wants me away so that this world he may roam.
Caught.
Trapped are we both, neither willing to give;
Alone with each other, both for me to live.
A new battle begins, attrition being its name;
Poison he tries to feed me, he knows how to play this game.
And should I falter, should my stance give way;
I pray for the wake, those that walk in the Beast's way.
