Revelation

Goodbye to old beginnings, hello to new continuations.
Changes, as they continue, come to accompany the past.
The future, as it shows, will fulfill the prophecy of self.
And it shall be welcomed, as will all days dark through majestic.
For the day is as it shall be till the moment it turns 'round.
No more weight to numbers, not to time nor to quantity.
Quality is what's to be sought; peace forever to be gained.

Still

Calamity screams as I try to relax;
Fulfilled I believe, yet steady I collapse.
It's just so much this ache, the ever growing urge;
Forever playing this dirge, yet each sound is faintly heard.
GOD DAMNIT, JUST LET ME GO!
And if there is a reason to not, just let me know.
All I ask is why, the rest I can soldier through.
I don't ask where, and I don't care who.
Just, eventually, and please don't forget,
And until that day, I'll try to not quit.

Known Stranger

Some person says this and you think that.
Some person comes just as you go.
Some person hides and then you reveal.
Some person walks while you run.
Some person speaks so you'll echo.
Some person reaches hoping you'll return.
Some person repeats so that you understand.
Some person shall want and you shall need.
Some person isn't enough because you will never see.

Release

Control is the opposite, control is what I do.
Control is how I put in line all that I knew.
Control walks the line straight and narrow,
Control is my heart with the broken arrow.
Control is my cry outward for help,
Control is the strongest emotion that I have ever felt.
Control screams while I cry.
Control is the truth when life is a lie.
When all is left but what I control
I'll dig myself out of this God forsaken hole.

Night Whisper 11

To reign through life,
Through the rains of life.
Remove the reigns from life,
To control the pain of life.

Night Whisper 10 (The Fantasy)

It's the soul of sincerity that speaks to me the most.
The honesty and truth that lies and sins boast.
Words spoken through pain, tears falling like rain,
A hold that won't let go and even if I could
I wouldn't make it so.
Beholden in this gaze, I pray thanks to this hope I feel.
Yet my mind begins to wonder, "Is any of this real?"

The End of the Rainbow

I don't understand how only a word can make me feel,
How with just a sound my heart can turn to rubble from steel.
How, without a touch, my body begins to move,
Now, with just the thought, all aches begin to soothe.
It takes fully a woman to move a mans thoughts from lust,
So queer this feeling, one that I must trust.
I see love now, or maybe a shadow of her essence;
She beckons me to follow, so I shall move in her direction.

Night Whisper 9

I ask this question, words that peace never knew.
"My heart to your soul, will you let me love you?"

Recent Three

The newest poems to my blog are three of what I believe to be my best works.  Forever's Embrace and Child of Eternity are my "chicken and egg" on the account that I'm not sure which one I did first!  Either way, those are the first two poems that I wrote.  A single came a little while later, but it is one of the first that I wrote dealing with my at the moment emotions.

Enjoy!

A Single Tear

A single tear is all that I ask,

To show that in the end This Too Shall Pass.

A Tear to mark the solemn day,

That Hell has passed and peace is coming this way.

A single tear is all that I pray,

To enter your heart on this sorrow filled day.

For your blood now runs cold during these trials of life,

And your anger cuts through me like a twin sided knife.

I feel for your loss more than you know,

So this tear I give to you, for my love to show.

A single tear is all that I have,

But I will give more should you only ask.

And let them run from my eyes to my knees,

Yet let not one touch the ground should your wishes it not please.

Let them gather round low and swirl into a stream,

And upon the sight of your face they begin to gleam.

Like a moonlit eve, your eyes will wash them away,

And set upon my soul forever and always to stay.

But no more tears are left to cry,

For my eyes are welled up, swollen and dry.

But I smile still for my heart is now full,

With the thought of you whole and your fire now cool.

Peace to this day, for your trials have now ended,

Together we shall be, torn together yet mended. 

Forever's Embrace

I know your look, I have felt your grace

The sweetest kiss that flows to my lips yet never touching my face.

I hear your voice as the evening wind blows,

It sings songs of forever’s love that my heart may never know.

We dance together this endless waltz,

Step one step two; together we are perfect without fault.

So why this distance as though you are not there,

Why this joyless sorrow that comes without care.

As the day comes and the dark nights set,

Proof of life shall be given without a lovers regret.

We shall be together one day in Forever’s Embrace,

Sharing this sweet feeling together shall be our fate.

I know not your name now, but only a glimpse of your essence,

One day soon, I shall be in your glowing presence.

Child of Eternity

Rock-a-bye child in this gentle night,

Sleep now forever in the shadow of Heavens Light.

Trumpets sound not to early and never late,

As you pass through the solitude of eternity’s gate.

Your presence was felt, though only for a moment,

Your memory shall not pass so long as we hold it.

You stand now in a place where so many wish to be,

Given Pass to a place that others shall never see.

Your songs shall be sung so long as the winds blow,

Never shall you be forgotten; your love for all to know.

 You sit amongst those whom time can no longer touch,

Staring down upon a people whom you know not much.

Play now your restless games,

Dream now in your tireless sleep,

Gaze now into our chasm of hearts unfillingly deep.

Rest now Children of the Heavens,

May your dreams be our tears.

As we brace for another day,

Only then shall we never fear.

Night Whisper 8a

You push and I stayed.  I wonder if you've noticed that I swayed?
I push and you move.  I wonder how your grip releases so smooth?

Night Whisper 8

Drowning in this commotion, this Symphony of Sympathy; one tied to all connected in empathy.
The dissonance ringing loud to those listening, quieter still to to those whom I want to be.

I'm Okay With That

What I know and what I understand, is that removing you from my memory doesn't make me a better man.
That what was isn't now, and that's okay, because that bad night of my life was removed in the day.
Some scars are long while others are deep, what holds within the same, is that they all remind me of me.
I'll no longer regret or look back and wonder why.
I'll only look to the clouds and think of how high I can fly.

Oh, Well

You know that bubbling feeling you get in your stomach that just won't pass?
I've got that feeling right now and I wish it was just gas.
I kinda wish I was numb, that I could no longer feel.
But, that would be a lie, and I wouldn't be real.
I feel that tingle, that twinge, like the color change in the leaves.
I wish I was dumb to this thought, but I know what it means.

Unconcerned

I'm unaffected by you.
By your face, by your ways, by your actions, inactions, tears, jeers, smiles, lies.
Time flies when I'm having fun, or I'm near you and our time is done.
This negative effect that you have is boring; the rain isn't the only reason that the old man is snoring.
You're tired, and played.  Others are the reason that I stayed.
Hands cleaned and wiped, I'll sleep easy tonight.
FUCK.YOU.

Night Whisper 7

My lips to your cheek as you rest your head; destiny speaks to fate, our story outloud read.

Off Course

You sit in your complacency playing a game of wait and see; wait for me, pray and plea, angrily, sanity.
You wonder why your time, won't come as easy as this rhyme; in your prime, grow a spine, cats lives no longer nine.
You expect life to just occur, but when has that happened ever; enjoy this precursor, passion does thirst for, solicit this paramour.
You see the colors begin to blend and question if this is the end; yet to mend, descend, ascend, change with the wind.

Night Whisper 6

And when comes the morning, I'll open my eyes,
And be thankful for my breath, and the lovely sunrise.
I'll take each moment, my life in a picture,
Being grateful for another chance, to have all that I wish for.

False Romance

I fear a life that I cannot romanticize.
To see this life through bitter eyes.
To speak of this day as a maybe and not a yes.
To give each moment enough, though not my best.
To want but not enough to reach for.
To enjoy but not enough to care more.
To shed a tear but never enough to cry.
To live only to know that I will die.
I fear this life but I'm afraid it is true.
I wish I knew the answer.  I wish I had a clue.

Night Whisper 5

I give.  I refuse to fight.  I lay down my arms.
I walk away.  I look the other direction.  I pretend you are not there.
I stand corrected.  I beg your pardon.  I made a mistake.
I was wrong.

As the Sentence Begins

From the ashes of fate comes the forever of eternity.
Unity of the self; mind and soul joined.
Turmoil as a constant, unwavering yet not forseen.
Utilizing all that is wrong to form a bond of enduring strength.
Reaping all that I'm owed, sewn from peace and prosperity.
Enough is never still, complacency fully removed.

Conscience in Thought

Awake, again.  Something she wished with all of her being that she would never have to be again.  Being awakened to a life that she neither asked for nor wished to continue; a curse that has been thrust upon her for attempting to give the gift of peace to a life with no direction.  Though, in return for her gift she lies here, still, awake.

As she lie awake, numb to the thought and knowing what the day has to bring, she listened to the sound of her other, her misbegotten master, as he breathes life into the death she so longer for.

"Erin, listen!  I know our relationship has gotten a bit... stale recently, but that doesn't mean we have to give up so quickly!  Just give us some time and we can... Hello?  Hello?!  Guess not."

"You know it was the right thing to do," spoke a quiet, soothing, voice.  He felt her slender warm arms wrap around his waist and her head fall gently onto his back;  her soft brown curls covering his shoulders like a warm, fleece blanket.

"Yeah." The only response he could bring himself to mutter.  "I'm just so tired of this ridiculous cycle!  Everytime I try to do right, to do good, to do what I need to do, I end up here.  Alone."

"Alone," she thought.  How she longed to be alone from this existence.

The cycle that he spoke of began long ago.  One cycle of his life that he could never completely break free from.  The cycle of love.

There is no count to say as to when this began, just that somewhere in life he never fully acquired the confidence required to make himself whole with another.  He walked through life successful and free of most burdens.  To most he seemed quite happy!  Wearing a mask of peace and love, having eyes that saw love in all its grandeur, but always seeming to fall outside its gaze.  Always the friend, though at best a part-time lover.  Forever the maker never finding his match.  This cycle begun in his adolescence now continuing to adulthood.

Thoughts to himself never making their way free of his throats strangling grasp; he would never dare dream of burdening another soul with such a silly problem.  "I'm a man," he would say to himself, "Finding a woman is bad enough without everyone thinking I'm gay!"

As the days continued, the cycle flowed in its natural order, until the day she came into his life.

This figure!

Beauty so stunning that her light was barely out shone by the sun; eyes so radiant and smile so inviting.  In the face of someone so incredible he the only thing that he could so...  Flash an uneasy smile and walk from her sight.

Stop!


And he did.

Unknowing of where the voice came from, and feeling very uneasy of the odd feeling that was coursing through him, he began walking his course again when he heard in a distant part of his mind, "Why must you continue to move away from me?"  


"Where are you,"  he spoke with a quivering low voice, "How can I hear you but not see you?"

As the last word slipped cautiously from his tongue, he felt a gentle touch at the small of his back.  He turned, sharply, towards the source of this new found warmth, shocked but somehow relaxed at the sight that stood before him.

"You," he spoke slowly.  "I've seen you before."

"Yes," spoke the lovely figure that stood before him, speaking her peaceful words directly to his mind while her lips remained still, locked in a smile that show nothing less than tranquility.

At her tallest she stood no further than his shoulders, eyes falling near directly to his chest.  A slim figure, yet of womanly shape, the air about her engulfed any light that came near her like a black hole of serenity, while her hair, blowing so softly, could have been mistaken for the very wind itself.  Never, such a sight, did his eyes ever think existed but in his most solemn thoughts.

"And from those thoughts I am given life," he heard just as easily as if the voice were his own.

"Who are you?  Where did you come from?  How can I hear you in my..."

"You hear me because I am from you.  From the thoughts that have passed in your mind to the actions that have shaped your life, I have been there as your unseen guide; your conscience.  I remained unseen to you because you need not know my face; nothing of your life needed more that an invisible touch until now.  I know of your plight; your want for the love of another.  I also know that your refuse to follow the simple directions of life in this matter, instead choosing to cut roughly across the grain."


"But how," he began.

"How can I be here, you ask?  Easily.  Think to yourself.  How many other times has thought manifested itself to you in life?  How many times have you wanted, then thought, then received?  Is this any different?  Save for the fact that you now face that which you thought only existed in thought."


He began to think to himself of doubt, but quickly washed it away.  Something in her words seemed to feel true, though the likelihood of this new reality, that his conscience had taken form as his inner-want, was too much for him to accept.

But,  he did accept this.  Wholly within his being he accepted he into his life.  At first as his mentor, guiding his fledgling heart towards a narrow cliff that it might one day take flight on its own.  Now, unbeknownst to her, her role as guide has given way to a life of servitude.  Forced to follow behind in his shadow, ignored just as such but attached exactly as close.

When she would say stop, he would go, unimpeded.  When she would point to a likely match for him to pair with, he would yield to nothing, stopping himself from ever attempting a connection for the most lacking of reasons.

And now she lay here, anointed as his other by the tears that birthed her, bound to a body that refused to understand her thought.  In their time together he has grown comfortable while she has shrunk to be more of a passing idea that a conscious thought.  Her form growing stronger in feel and touch with every action he takes against her word.  So much so that she no longer communicated directly to his mind.

"You must stop this, Matthew.  You must let go of yourself."

Her words caught him off guard in a way not like before.  He turned to face her, not prepared for the sight that would be forever etched in his memory.

"All that is within you has made me:  your doubts, your worries, your hopes, and your fears.  I am nothing more that you and nothing less than hope given life.  But, mine is a life that should have ended long ago.  You must let me go in order to take yourself back!  These words that I speak are yours from within.  The direction I give is yours that you know to follow.  All that I give you was take from you!  I was meant only to show you the life that lies behind thought.  You found this form, me, because you chose me.  Within that moment you were to realize that all you wanted could be yours should you take the steps of a man and seek it.  Instead, you have become complacent, choosing to use this figment of happiness as an excuse as opposed to becoming more of yourself.

So, now you must choose again.  Release me and let go of yourself or hold on to this glimmer and never see loves true light."

Again, as before, the moment seemed too real for thought.  A wave crashed upon him with the vengeance of a tide on a new shore, washing away all footprints, leaving soft sands free to be made into their own path.

As she spoke, he accepted her words, and as his tears feel, she disappeared; her soft figure returning to nothing; her hair, now just a breeze; his heart growing stronger.

Night Whisper 4

Clouds parted, autumn winds blow, what lies in the future, only I know.

Immortal Vision

I shall lie here and dream, of thoughts yet unknown; a realization of want, hope to my life shown.
And left not beyond, waiting for its chosen time, a horizon laid level; a sight true to my eyes; a peace for my spirit to revel.
Oh, and such a feeling, Wanton Hate doth tremble; for it feels fate lurch no longer does it walk nimble.
Whatever should greet me, shall heed such luster not shown in the sun; an elegant brilliance caused only by one.
Alas, I awake, removed harsh from my vision; life much the same; my hearts strengthened mission.

Momentary Retreat

Wherefore the sun rises, I cannot say.  For the morn to shine? For the earth to warm?  To begin a new day?
Each point is equal, necessities for life to sustain. Though neither point shows hate to the other, no ill points of disdain.
These actions hold strength, being they are all one to me.  One happens not for praise, nor the other for selfish glee.
Take this thought as a moment, and behold its unknown brevity.  Take steps each at a time knowing backwards is not the enemy.

I Know Catharsis

This release that says to fear, "Hate now begone, you are no longer needed here."
This voice that screams to those once contented, "Move far from this place should this tear to ever be mended."
The whisper that lets me know that you are there, "I shall be here, though not in sight.  You shall breath me in, forever I am the air."
The echo from within and the quiet that follows, "Always should you listen, for these walls are not all hollow."
The grip that holds me and refuses to left go; the question that I ask though the answer I already know.
The want, the will, the peace that will always persist.
I know Catharsis and I refuse to accept anything but this.

A Soul's Requiem

Here it lies passed, peace set to come, once finally to last.
Remorse filled with despair, a charcoal black choking back the air.
Sitting near but was one, a singular entity; the fallen's son.
Aching to within, sitting stoic and still; an understanding with the wind.
No questions left to ask, ease will not come, the time for answers has passed.
What's left is the end, to begin the last walk, where life and death blend.
From here to afar, away from it all, to call home to a star.
But, here he sets his place, this moment to hold; cold sullen face.
Staring to his twin father, eyes locked to nothing, soul not to bother.

Lady Divine

Tender lips as these meant nothing more than to please.
Moments growing strong as times power begins to ease.
Ripeness this fruit bearing a taste as nothing other.
Passion so strong, giving way to this soulful lover.
Such energy in a glance, that a look makes me numb.
Truth of it all, for you I shall succumb.
Oh, but to know you, to call all and mine.
I shall have you one day, you Lady So Divine.

Night Whisper 3

Ever present in my thoughts, you, ever so lovely; the brightest star shines no brighter, ever you above me.  But a touch so electric, a sight thought not to exist; a wanting so strong, though never like this.  Each moment new, birthed pure from the past before it; each second passed, slow, aching atonement.  Gentle lips pressed tight, air slow to escape; calm strength, passion strong, love slowly we will make.

Echo

Did you hear it? That silent echo? The after effect of the noise.
Did it move you?  Do you feel? Or do you maintain your poise?
Will you listen? Open mind? And let it wash you all away?
I bet you missed it. You closed your ears. You never heard what I had to say.

Night Whisper 2a

So, go now with the wind, be free with the breeze; let the night calm you still, let your mind be at ease.

Night Whisper 2

Such confusion, lost in this mental haze; waiting solemnly as moments turn into days.  Wandering, wondering, "Is this life meant for nothing?"  Holding tight to hope for even my thoughts are something.

Night Whisper #1

Night whispers are poetic thoughts that go through my head just before I go to sleep.  Sometimes I can't sleep until I write them down.



When hope in life is lost and I know not where to lean, I still have my hopes; I still have my dreams.

The Beast

The beast can be controlled

Or so I was told.

“A lie from the old, this story they told.”

Deep from within, this story I do begin,

Of the Beast’s want to be free,

And his shadow that I wished to flee.

My memory fails as to the beginning of this tale,

But the feeling remains in my soul all the same.

A tug and a grasp as anger and peace passed;

But my life as a babe allowed these emotions to fade.

As I grew they stayed longer, this hold to my being;

The attempt to pull away soon became fleeting.

“I try and I try, yet this room remains red!”

A new hunger did grow; the strength of my heart it fed.

It, too, was a child, at least for a time;

Birthed of my soul’s dirt, filth, and grime.

His heart beat off, syncopated with mine;

A rhythmic, creative, cadence composed of no time.

Not me, but a shadow, a want from my mind;

Honesty and caring within him I would find.

At least ‘twas the thought, for then I was naïve.

“Tis not in me to lie or deceive.”

His words I believed, for there were no others heard,

To think such destruction could be reaped from his lying dirge.

His hand, it had help, in my shaping and form;

Chaos and contempt, in my life were a norm.

No peace, save my own, was given at a time;

No rest or assurance, its presence was a lie.

So, upon his shoulder I'd lay my aching head;

And within my heart, his darkness found a bed.

Within the nights we would sleep, held together tight;

Entwined to one another, eyes closed to the shallow light.

Soon, as I lived, two became one;

He became I and I became his son.

As a father he spoke, and avid I would listen;

Quiet to myself wondered of my life's mission.

Feeling ever alone, yet never seeking another;

Feeling forever cold, yet tossing away all cover.

Harsh, I know it sounds, to ears not mine,

But, an understanding, a Peace, are what I came to find.

Strength! For I am strong, much stronger than ever;

Finding my weakness has become a hopeless endeavor.

Nothing! stops me, save my own hand;

Thinking other proves false, the stupidity of a damned man.

Such power! supplied limitless from within;

No horizon to be seen, for I am the wind.

Or so I thought,

For I, 

Not he, 

Am nothing but a soul;

And was fooled to believing that this path would lead me whole.

As I aged I understood, my gaze became clearer;

My hatred for those other, became my reflection in the mirror.

My face, distorted, but only to my eyes;

The darkness became blue, just not in my skies.

No longer in this void can I walk and not stumble;

The fire inside made me all but humble.

Fear! No control! What is this touch?

Away! Run! To the Beast I shall clutch!

Tricked.

We are the same, mostly but not complete;

I still own this essence, it's for my mind that we now compete.

Our strength is matched one to one;

But his heart now pumps, and it wants me undone.

For a time I wondered why he came;

Now I understand, he wanted my name.

He wanted a place, to live and to breath;

Now that I need help, he wants me to leave.

He wants this place, that my whole calls home;

He wants me away so that this world he may roam.

Caught.

Trapped are we both, neither willing to give;

Alone with each other, both for me to live.

A new battle begins, attrition being its name;

Poison he tries to feed me, he knows how to play this game.

And should I falter, should my stance give way;

I pray for the wake, those that walk in the Beast's way.

Still

This feeling so new, I'm scared; I don't know.  Many questions, no guidance; my face I won't show.  Discomfort, unknown, I retreat; I walk away.  I want, I NEED; to speak words that I dare not say.  What is this? Why now?  When comes my time?  More questions for every one; less answers, there are none.  Silence, it eludes me, but what I hear is not a sound.  This noise that calls from nothing, I hear it ever so loud.  What I need I ask not much, just a whisper through the door.  So, I shall lay hear, waiting, unmoving, forever-more.

Phoenix Rise

Break the dam and let loose this river strong; release the rapids, hold no longer their rage. Set ablaze this night, flames burn to the last ash; let nothing stand from the fiery inferno. Winds blow it all away, let it be brought clean from nothing; what once stood firm shall yet again rise.

Welcome Night

Come night, save the sun, and put this day to rest; heaven sent mercy through this blessed test.  Dark though this time, ne'er brighter is this season; unseen is this future of hope thoughts and reason.  Begone thoughts impure, awake with the day serenity; come forth with cheer this new day sent to me.

All in a Moment

Forever says never, to the end of this day; stay with me now, let us watch the trees sway. Tomorrow says hello, as today begins to fade; no more work to be done, only games to be played. Now stands strong, steeled, hardned, and gracious for a chance; left foot, right foot, we begin the days dance.

Darkest Embrace

And let this night end as the day did begin; let dark turn to light with this peaceful eve in sight. Let there be warmth in the cold, a crisp breeze, the chill of life; a wind meant only to feel, to relax the mind, to release the souls will. Allow the dark take hold, embrace the nothing and become one; let ease fall to your eyes, let peace be your guide to the sun rise

Truthful Lie

Left here in nothing, this black empty space, welcome warmth of the cold from these shards that I hold. Shattered pieces of something, of what, I can not remember, a scent strong but fading, but the bitter I remember. What once was isn't now, lost to forever, I follow this cloud, the storm that I weather. A lie to myself, that I won't be here again. The truth of today, my life you shall no longer be in. MLM

Exhalation

From within I see all that was me/ now, without, excess worries and doubt/ Detached from the ground/ I am no longer bound/ free from the old/ a new story to be told/ Sitting, listening, waiting with wonder/ beneath this oak my mind aches with hunger/ "How, where, and why!," with a smile my heart does cry/ As my love of freedom grows, my spirits patience dies/ Never before with one breath, have I tasted freedom so strong/ not a watch in this world could tell how I've waited so long/ So bright are these hues/ these shades of life/ erased are the days of worries and strife/ Not erased/ only dull/ for the point is now moot and gray/ blurred by the orange-red sun of this new mornings day/ Breathe in deep and exhale the release/ repeat as the body flows with peace/ Thoughts not of the past or future or how/ only focus on this moment/here and now. MLM

Hope Unknown

Who? You? Me? Us. Why? A lie? Unknown. Trust? Remember. Forget. Alone. Regret. Forgive. Savor. Endure. Forever. Peace. Resist. Stoic in this./ Awake to forsake. Collect to give in. Racing again. Stumble at the end. Recover and regain. No strength without pain. Kneel before I stand. Together hand in hand. MLM

Grounded

I stand here tall/summoning strength from within/knowing that today my life beings again./I shall muster my strength/every ounce that my being has/ to hold strong my outward hand/as I await your grasp./To pull me, to hold me/to warm this stoic cold./To shake, to bend/ but never in your heart fold./Where ever, when ever/I have no date known/but with hope I stand/waiting/yet not alone. MLM

Life, Not Finality

Of all the plans that I've made and actions that I'll choose, I'll never understand why my heart chose you. It was not me, of this I am sure. The disease to myself when I needed but a cure. An unknown as a constant adding to myself's division. The harshest of conductors setting me a flame with your friction. No anger, only questions; no answers, only lessons. Love would be damned were it not but a word. The curses I would sceam; to the Devil's ears they'd be heard. Screams that would be for not, for such energy be not wasted, because the bitterness you left was never sweeter tasted. Mortality and strength in this vunerable heart. And I give only thanks to you for this play and your part. I am better than before, maybe a little worse. You are as you'll be, now, without me.